Did I tell you about the Velociraptor?

So, here’s a great teaching example.  The next time you need to explain to a young person what “error in judgement”, or “chronic failure to use one’s brain”, or “behaving as though you have brain damage”, or “being an ass jacket” is, I want you to feel free to refer to this post.

So, one evening, I ran away from home to take some “me” time (you know, I went to the grocery store and ran errands without the kids) and I came home to T and Little R cuddled up on the couch together watching Jurrassic Park. I told you that he’s 4, right?

Me: What the fuck, T?!
T: What?
Me: Really? Jurrassic Park?!
T: What? Don’t be like that. It’s fine! He’s not scared!
Me: What the fuck? Do I really need to explain why I think this is dumb? What happened to you? Why are you like this? I think you should be assessed. I seriously think you may have brain damage. I’m all out of things to say–there’s something wrong with you.

Then, as we are getting Little R ready for bed:

T: R, go upstairs and get some pajamas.
R: No, I’m scared to go upstairs by myself.
Me: It’s safe in our house, the lights are on and there’s nothing to be scared of, honey.
T: Go on up, it’s totally fine. We’re standing right here watching.
R: I’m scared though!
Me: That’s ok, if you’re scared but you do it anyway that means you’re courageous!

R heads slowly, tentatively up the stairs to get some pajamas as T and I watch proudly. Then, suddenly, T screams out “R, WATCH OUT! THERE’S A VELOCIRAPTOR IN YOUR ROOM!!!”
R, turns and races back down the stairs with a look of total and utter terror on his face; screaming like he fears for his life because he’s being chased by a Velociraptor.

R has slept with me every single night since. T has been sleeping with the Velociraptor.

This entry was posted in Are you fucking kidding me!?, Little R, Parenting, T. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Did I tell you about the Velociraptor?

  1. Alexis MacDonell (N) says:

    I’m sorry but I’m laughing so hard the tears are running down my face!

  2. Lisa Helm says:

    This is soooo funny. What R needs is a “Jesus cuddling a velociraptor” t-shirt. For protection. Seriously, they exist. I saw all sorts of Jesus/velociraptor t-shirts during velociraptor awareness day. (the things you learn from HS kiddies these days….)

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