I’m going to live in the woods.

My favorite thing that happened this lovely long weekend?  Coming downstairs to find Baby A crawling around in the fireplace brandishing a piece of charred firewood, and covered in soot and ash.  Yes, that’s right, crawling inside of the fireplace.  Why, oh why did I leave my baby unattended you ask?  I didn’t. I left her in her father’s capable hands.  I went upstairs for 10 minutes and when I came down Little R was fast asleep in his bed (at 6:30!  You can imagine what time he went to bed after his late-evening nap.) and Baby A was crawling around in the fireplace, eating ash, smiling and looking at the soot-tracks she’d made in the white carpet.  Through it all, my husband slept on the couch, peaceful as can be.  Oblivious to my screams of outrage and horror.  Oblivious to the shit-storm of burning hate that I was raining down on him.  He’s a very sound sleeper and when I leave him in charge of the children, a strange chemical reaction happens in his brain that causes him to immediately lose conciousness.  I think he needs shock therapy or perhaps some kind of behaviour modification therapy involving swift kicks in the ass.   What happened next between us, I’ll leave to your imagination.

My other favourite moment this weekend was this conversation between Little R and I:

 Me: (Cuddling in bed) R, I had such a fun day with you today.  You’re my favourite boy in all the world.

R:  Why am I your favourite boy?

Me:  Well, you’re so special and smart and kind and such a great big brother and so wonderful in every way!

R:  You’re my favourite Mommy in the world.

Me: Why am I your favourite Mommy?

 R: (Reaching out to touch my hair) Because you have really nice hair.

This entry was posted in Are you fucking kidding me!?, Baby A, T. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to I’m going to live in the woods.

  1. Alexis MacDonell (N) says:

    Nothing like one’s children to keep a person humble!

  2. Wifeish says:

    Oh my. I hope you got a picture. Sounds adorable.

  3. Adrienne says:

    I believe you’re version of this story to be true:) Thanks for sharing!

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