Here’s something not to do.
For my babies’ birthdays this past weekend, I decided to order cupcakes from the new OMG Cupcakes shop. On the Monday before the party, I went into the shop to check it out. I knew it was going to be something special, because at 11:00 AM on a workday, the line-up reached to the door. The line was filled with glassy-eyed women in an apparent cupcake stupor. I heard them make their orders one by one and watched them leave. Most of them sat in their cars and ate at least one cupcake before they left. I thought it was kind of funny and kind of sad. I mean, I could almost feel the semi-sexual satisfaction in the air. I made my order for the party and asked for one of each of the two flavors I picked to take home.
When I got to my car, I opened the container, chose the chocolate ganache and pink buttercream frosting OMG Signature Cupcake and took a bite (it seemed like the thing to do). It tasted like cupcakes taste in heaven when the angels bake and make frosting for the Baby Jesus. I have litterally never had a desert, of any kind, that gave me so much semi-sexual satisfaction. Now I was part of the sisterhood of the cupcake addicted. I no longer saw those women as kind of funny and sad, oh no. Those women are geniuses! I felt like my life had improved at least 18% now that I had The Cupcake. I felt so fulfilled.
I was back the next day, and then on Wednesday, with the husband, to try a couple more flavors. Then on Saturday, we had the party. There were 13 cupcakes left over when the party was done, and those little packages of love and contentment came home with me. I don’t want to tell you exactly how many of those leftover cupcakes I ate, but you can assume it was a high percentage. Embarrassingly high.
“Where’s the mistake?” you ask. “Overeating?” No, no. The mistake is to buy a body fat analysis scale the next day because, gee, that would be neat to know! Don’t do that. Don’t ever, ever do that. You will be so deeply sorry. The innocence of my relationship with The Cupcake, the pure joy, is gone. Now I’m back with Spinach and Lentils, but I still get with The Cupcake on Saturdays. What Spinach and Lentils don’t know, can’t hurt them, right?